The temperature getting colder
My breathing getting slower
As I sink in lower
My emotions getting stronger
By each and every passing hour
I can’t wait any longer
These thoughts are getting louder
Screaming in my head as I ponder
It’s getting harder
Especially because I’m underwater

I thought they knew me
But it was all fake, all a play

My misunderstanding
my false hope
my false assumptions
my false knowing…

My blind eyes
my blind soul
my delicate heart
my delicate self

I did this to myself
believing every word they said
believing in them
and not believing in myself
that was my silliest mistake
all that I believed was fake

Which agonized me
brought illness to my body and brain
brought pain to my melancholy heart
bringing nothing but negativity in my mind

All this pressure underneath my skin
I want to get rid of it… But I don’t know where to begin,
I’m gasping for air
Don’t say anything out of fear,
All the worry clouding my mind
Not leaving an inch of space behind,
Leaving me stressed and confused
As I’m fighting battles and am abused,
But it’s me who I’m abusing
And it’s me who I’m losing

Where do I go?
Trapped in these thoughts not knowing what to do,
These overwhelming emotions
Making my life nothing but blue,
Stuck in a labyrinth, surrounded by these walls
These walls that do nothing but make me fall,
Shattering my confidence
All these words and insults highlighting all my insecurities
I’m begging on my knees,
Begging these words to stop filling my head
Because now my life…
My life is just hanging on a thread
These invisible chains entangling me
Refraining me from leaving the maze
Making me feel the craze,
Forcing me to look at the walls
Making me face those horrifying words I don’t want to see or hear,
The flowing emotions I can’t bear
Building up nothing but fear,
And now, I’m no longer there…

HelloHeartache

I lost myself. I don’t know when, or how. But I know I did.

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